Welcome People of the Flux

To quote an honourable friend of mine
"If you admire the form of the male athlete, does that make you gay?" - Rumbone 2002

Frederick von Swinehund

Ro
As Frederick leaned fervently out of the window to see who was making the noises outside, he became aware of the dust on the windowsill and thought to himself 'I must make sure I do a thorough dusting before I go to the library'. He looked around outside, below the window he was leaning out of. He couldn't see anyone, but heard that the noises were coming from around the corner of his res'. 'Man, how do those guys play so much and still make the grade when it comes to exams?' he mumbled to himself.

He returned to his desk, and sat, staring at the small rat he had tied down. It lay on it back, with its legs held back by the thread Frederick had wound around them. The rat made a barely audible squealing noise. It was obviously weak from the preceding weeks of experimentation. Frederick got up quickly and left the room. He was suddenly in an agitated state. No one was in the corridor or the Common room. He ran outside and past the noisemakers without anyone noticing him.

David J. (don’t think I’ve written that since primary school)
Not that anyone ever noticed him. They might see him, even talk to him, but they never really noticed him. As he scuttled about the campus gardens and towards the Science Faculty he thought about how he was like the mouse. People may be aware that he was there. They might poke and prod but they didn’t take any notice of the specimen’s point of view. Never had they thought of him as anything other than an element to manipulate in the grand experiment of life. When they teased and mocked him, it was only to gauge his reaction and draw pleasure from their control over it.

And as he had done so often in the past year, he pictured his glory moment: The moment when all those to whom he had been nothing but a subservient little wretch would be forced to acknowledge the glory that was Frederick von Swinehund. He imagined that moment’s sweetness and scuttled on.

He had by now entered the great old building. There was no one around and he hurried down some stairs and into his very own dank little underworld. He pulled on the tawdry lab-coat and settled down.

The Red Planet
The stench was putrid, as it always was down in his dingy hole. His lab-coat was a pale yellow, and had been nibbled at by rats at the frays. Pulling on his lab-coat actually made him gag, every time. But after five minutes of intense intoxication, his nostrils became used to the disgusting aroma and he felt comfortable.

But during those 5 minutes of adjustment, he was always on edge. He liked the way that his thoughts turned terribly homicidal. For a fleeting moment he caught a glint of light reflect off the bones in the corner. “You should never have ventured down here,” he thought aloud to himself. That day was always in the back of his mind.

His experiment was almost ready. Frederick was starting to get excited. He had been waiting for this moment for so long, some might even say his whole life. Since no-one ever took notice of Frederick, Frederick thought that he would give them a helping hand. Everything was in place, with only a few finishing touches needed before it would be complete. Then, a new chapter in Frederick’s life would dawn.

He suddenly got agitated again, and felt extremely claustrophobic. He ripped off the lab-coat and dashed up the stairs, not thinking that someone might see him exit his cave. He got to the top of the stairs, and ran straight into a large figure.

The Old Rumbone:

Now when Frederick thought that he was alone in the universe, little did he realise that like a far off distant planet burning red with desire orbited the figure of Esmeralda. It was into this bespectacled maiden that Frederick stumbled, setting her heart a flutter with passion. Speechless and flustered, Frederick bumbled to be chivalrous and bent to help pick up her books and files. ‘Ugh!’ he thought, ‘She highlights her notes.’ Technicolour pink and green fluorescent blobs gleamed amongst daisies and cupid hearts shot through with arrows…It was at that moment when he thought he saw the scrawl of familiar letters and almost immediately as if the planets had collided realized he was not alone. So much darkness in his soul burst into light and possibility. Of course Esmeralda, who at this moment was cursing herself for such a terrible slip up, muttered apologies and desperately wanted to somewhere, anywhere else. Agitated and confused by tumultuous feelings he could not describe Frederick wondered what to say.

“I have braces too.”

“I like chocolate milk,” replied Esmeralda.

She scuttled off breathless. Frederick saw his destiny unfold before him, expanding into a vision of glory. Only slight modifications to his experiment were needed. Back in his room it was to this scheme he applied himself thoughtfully as he towered over the trembling rat. The sounds of Manilow floated across the room. It calmed him and drowned out the world. So he could think and imagine.
I remember all my life raining down as cold as ice.
Shadows of a man, a face through a window cryin' in the night,
the night goes into Morning just another day;
happy people pass my way.
Looking in their eyes, I see a memory I never realized
how happy you made me.
Oh Mandy well,
you came and you gave without taking,
but I sent you away.
Oh, Mandy well,
you kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
and I need you today. Oh, Mandy!