a story in the making by JakeFrankDogg

A story in the making, a cripple without legs? What’s the purpose of all this crying? There is no one to defend. If everyone would get the point, perfect to every extreme. What would all the clouds do? Make rain? The beginning and the end are irreversible, the planet full of dreams. Please would someone call me? I am Myself, master of destiny and the pinnacle of all existence.

A state of mind, a thought, consciousness in its truest form. The moment when obscurity transforms into Light, as clear as cold water and just as refreshing.

Yesterday evening I went for a run, taking a calculated guess that it would not rain hard and that it would not become a storm. The clouds were light and wispy, and the air was warm. I got about 600m down the road when it started to drizzle. Then it started to rain, and rain harder, and finally, hail. Not bad hail, just small and fast, and painful enough to make me feel really alive. I didn’t continue my run for long, but while I headed home, there was lightening all around me, thunder forcing itself into my ear, taking advantage of any gaps left by the rain drops themselves. My feet were squelching in muddy shoes, my t-shirt sticking to my body, and a general ‘I am so not happy right now’ feeling going down. However, I was happy. I was alive, breathing, smelling, hearing, tasting, and feeling… feeling alive.

Okay. Now that the random soppy shite is out of the way, I can move onto something far more exciting. Robert scratched his head. He wondered if he really did look like the Ape the cartoonist had depicted him as. He despised those cockroaches that unrelentlessly portrayed him as a bad person. He was fed up with everything. His ambitious followers would stab him in the back the minute he turned it on them. He had to be very careful to pander to their needs, while at the same time ensuring that he was the primary beneficiary in any activities undertaken. He was an evil man. A man with the ability to cast off guilt as a simple fisherman casts a net off his Dow. A sort of malevolence had long ago replaced his sense of pride, although he didn’t realise it or acknowledge it to anyone who pointed it out to him. He had become a grumpy old man (I do love a good euphemism). Any attempt to criticise was taken as an attack on self, and punished with a swiftness and severity few were willing to endure.

I wonder what it is like having millions of people thinking you are a vile person? I imagine, given the correct personality type, it would be easy to say ‘so many people hate me already, what is another 2 million or so?’ You might as well set up your family for success, make them lots of money and give them powerful friends. When you go, you go with the knowledge that no one can punish the other members of your family for your crimes. So they will be happy in the knowledge that their daddy worked hard for their money. What better way to show how appreciative you are of Bob’s hard work than to go buy a Ferrari or Yacht or something extravagant that you have no idea what to do with, but you saw on the pages of Fortune Magazines ‘500’ edition.

Do you think that in years to come, people will look back and think ‘how was it possible for the rest of the world to let Bush and America interfere in a sovereign state on the notion that they might be in the early stages of nuclear weapon development programs?’ Do you think they will ask: ‘was the American public so unquestioning that when the oil price went to $60 a barrel, they just accepted that it was because there was less oil than a year ago?’ Will they look back and say: ‘how was it possible for a guy to be so short and fast? How could the Knappy eat so much chicken? And why, oh why was the Hobbo guy such a praggie-prag?’

A good friend of mine once said ‘no idea’. And I believed him.

Another friend once told me I was the worst joke teller in the world. I also believed him, but I want you to imagine me delivering these pearlers:

“If you think that's good, wait till you see the floor show – which will no doubt be more outrageous than the incredibly outrageous thing that just preceded it!”

"Look, I'm still a dog. Just because I speak and hang out at bars doesn't mean I can't feverishly lick the sweat from my own balls."

"Asthma? But I thought you said you would run away with me!"

"What pâté? This is my stool sample."

Then the doctor says, "OK, now it's MY turn to cough!"

That's when President Bush starts shouting, "Filibuster me harder, Senator Fuckhorse!"

"Then the fat cannibal turns to the skinny one and goes, "I prefer white meat, but the rosemary was an inspired addition to the recipe."

And the pigeon was like, "Hey man, don't be getting' all up in my guano!"

And so the drunk shouts, "Laugh at me if you want, but let me remind you that you're all overgrown, emotionally stunted adolescents who can't make an informed, adult decision or even honestly face the wasteland of your pathetic life without filling your eyeballs with enough beer and liquor as to distort these painful facts."

When I said, "tea bag," I meant like the hot, invigorating beverage!

Courtesy of http://www.chickenhead.com/bottom50/punchlines.asp

Some of my favourite word:
Sublime
Lithe
Grotesque
Statuesque
Populate
Morbid (curiosity)
Forbidden
Lengthy
Endurance
Wicked
Sock
Weasel
Supreme
Brother
Field
Slaughter
Slender
Arctic
Crinkle
Shimmer
Insane
Fart
Slippery
Gradient
Begin

Hello.

So this weekend is going to be pretty hectic then. I was wondering if perhaps I should leave my dignity and self-respect at home when I go out on Saturday. That way, I won’t have it in the first place to lose. I was looking at Knappy the other day, and I thought ‘man that guy likes beer’. And you know what? That is true. It does like beer.

The topic of this next paragraph is:

‘how traffic lights quietly dominate the earth: they're the ones in control’

Think about it. They have the ultimate power. Humans have given it to them, but at the moment they have the power. Most of the time they chose not to use it, but every now and hen, when you least expect it, or least need it, they will throw a spanner into the works. When was the last time you really needed to get somewhere by a certain time? Of course every robot along the way stopped you and made you late. The more you stress, the more they can feel your presence, and the longer they remain red. Even if there is no other traffic. It’s just you sitting, waiting for the non-existent cars to cross the intersection, forever waiting. When you are really late and need to actually make up time, or you have a very important appointment to keep, then things really get bad. The traffic lights sense you are approaching from kilometers away, and start to build up traffic. By the time you get there, there is a 900m long queue. The only allow one or two cars to get though at a time, until you are close enough to see what trickery they are using. Then suddenly, when you are 8 cars from the front of the queue, the light will let all seven in front of you go, but force you to be a good person and stop for the (by then) red light.

If you need to get to an important presentation, or some other important event (like the birth of your first child), traffic lights really get nasty. They will in fact turn themselves off. And have you ever noticed how along a certain route, all the lights are off. This is because they communicate, and prepare for your arrival. No one these days knows how to treat broken lights, so everyone just drives, causing accidents, which further log the roads. You are doomed. You might as well go home and sleep. The lights will stop at nothing to cause you to be painfully late. You will miss the presentation (or your child’s birth), you will not get a promotion (or any action for the rest of you marriage) and you will live like a dog in a kennel for the rest of your life (and you will live like a dog in a kennel for the rest of your life).

Viva le Traffic Light. Viva!


“Here's a toast to all those who hear me all to well.Here's to the night we felt alive.Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry.Here's to goodbye tomorrow's going to come to soon.”